You'll never realise what you have till you lose it.
There's a certain truth to that statement. It may sound cliche' but it happened before,thus making me a favourite fan for this simple words.
I can't explain what I feel about it. Just that, after all that happened, I'm afraid of losing...May be it's just me being too afraid to be alone. I dont want to be alone when I'm old. That's my biggest fear. *Dah rasa macam sesi confession* -.-"  At times, I think that if I never have anything to start with,then I'll not lose anything which makes me happy. But the again, how can I have something if I dont own anything? Life is full or mystery...*or is it just me that's a freak?*
My dad told me to quit apologising for everything hahaha..Do I apologise too much?I dont realise I did that hoho..Daddy said I like to carry the world's burden on my shoulder. For those who doesnt understand, it means that I always feel that I'm at fault n always do something wrong to someone. *I kinda go "eehh??" during this part* No, I dont feel that I carry the world's burden,just that I always think sometimes,if not most, I tend to be very selfish-making desicions or calls without considering others. and THAT makes me feel guilty. A friend ever told me "Sorry is just a word,it meant nothing nor will it change what's been done". Is it true? I mean I know it cant undone things, but the guilty can rip me apart if I dont apologise. Try sleeping with unsatisfied or angry heart, then you'll know what I mean...
I'm out of my little blue pills...& I can sleep better nowadays. Which means, I dont have to see doc anymore. Yay!!! Alhamdulillah. I hope it lasts. :D