As I woke up today (I was late for work!! :p )...

Kebelakangan ni fikiran I kusut..dgn bermacam2 persoalan...

Last nite, as I text with my 'friend', he's damn serious bout me being his wife. It's not that he's not good, he's everything I wanted as a husband. I knew him for 4 and a half years now. And he stand to his word of waiting for me no matter what happens. He did, after everything I've done...Yet he still wants me..
His words that I cant forget is 'I never touch ttg kelemahan U. So jgn U mulakan. Bagi I Ur perfect. Sesempurna yg I inginkan sebagai isteri I'...tersentuh skjp dgn kata-kata tu, bila diri ini merasakan tidak sempurna, ada insan yg masih mengungkapkan kata itu...Alhamdulillah, hrp2 itu bkn skdr manis d bibir shj. I don't want to put too much hope in it. Sedangkan pantai boleh berubah :)

Terlalu besar rasanya cita-cita dan impian yang ingin dikejar. Smlm, kata-kata daddy telah menyedarkan diri ini ttg sesuatu...bicaranya lembut, tp cukup terkesan di dada. Ucapnya 'jgnlah terlalu memikirkan diri org lain hingga mengabaikan diri sendiri.Tanggungjawab sbgai kakak, ckuplah sekadar yang termampu.Tidak perlulah mengorbankan segalanya utk adik2. Think about ur own. Ur a big girl now,U need to start to build ur own family'. Akan patahkah hatinya bila tahu anaknya ini, semakin putus harapan terhadap cinta? Entahlah...Apa ada pada cinta? Ia sesuatu yg abstrak, tiada definisi, juga sifatnya tidak dpt diungkapkan dgn kata-kata. Bagiku, cinta sentiasa berubah. Cuma akal, rasional dan komitmen yg dpt mengukuhkan sesebuah 'cinta'...

Minggu dpn, bermulanya tugasku yg sebenar. Mgkn tiada masa terluang utk mengusutkan kepala dgn segala persoalan2 spt skrg. Tp to me it's far more better. I want to focus more on my work...Enough of hearts and feelings stuff. InsyaAllah, I'll do the best for my life. I know I can sit on clouds, fly to the moon, chase stars and colour the rainbow... Lets juz keep the spirit high.. ;)